Alright, let's get serious for a moment. I really just feel that it is kind of necessary, being a convert of the church, to clear the air on a few things.
Yes, my relationship with my husband Seth began around the same time that I started investigating the church. Had it not been for him, I wouldn't have been questioning or taking lessons or anything.. So, this leads many to think that I am only a member of the church BECAUSE of him.. In fact, for fourth of July, we decided to visit some family. Now, my family tends to drink.. often. Some of my family decided to try and get me to take drinks. One of them even said "seth will never know, just take one drink". Obviously, I was turning this family member down.. When she told another family member that I was a member of the LDS church, this other family member looked at seth with that whole.. "what did you DO?" look. Now, though I am not mad at these family members, this simply just reminded me of the struggles I had when first converting to the church- and all the backlash I heard from other various friends and family.
First of all, let me point something out: Saying that I only converted because of Seth also says a couple things about me personally. Number 1, it says that I'll do anything to keep a guys attention. Number 2, it says that I can't think for myself. And finally, number 3, it says that I don't have the confidence to keep looking for another guy who I can truly be myself with..
Obviously, if it wasn't for Seth, I probably would have never even taken a second look at the church. However, my relationship with him and my relationship with Seth have nothing to do with one another- other than how moved I was at seeing him before and after his mission, and how much I admired how devoted he was to the church.
I am not a blind follower of faith. I did so much reading, research, reflection- you name it- outside of Seth, and I know in my heart this church is true. I know that if I had investigated the church and not become a member, Seth and I would still be married. (As he sits here telling me how he was about to ask me out before I even gave the church a thought). ALSO I want to point out that when I started investigating the church, I was dating someone else.
Look, my faith is a huge part of my marriage. However, my marriage is not the result of blind faith. I truly love and believe in this church. Why? Because I felt it, for myself. Not because anyone led me to it.
And, whether or not people believe me when I say all of this- those of you that knew me before and after know how much this church and this faith have changed me. And, you know how much happier and fulfilled I am...
Just some food for thought.
Nicole, I just want you to know that I think you are amazing. I hope to someday meet you outside of facebook and me stalking your blog.
ReplyDeleteI am proud of you, and I admire your testimony.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a wayward soul, many asked me to deny my testimony of the church/faith. They even offered me favors or money to deny it. I could never do this. I told them, I may not be living the covenants I have made with my Savior but I will never deny what I know(and have proven) to be true.
Basically it comes down to the phrase. I know the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. I know it, and I know God knows I know it and I cannot deny God.
If you are not going to read the Book of Mormon to see for yourself you have no right to judge. ( not that anyone ever has that right.) Doesn't the Bible say: Judge not that ye be not Judged. That is a commandment. So who is living their faith and who is not.
Sorry. It went too long and delete this if you wish. Love you! - Poppa