Carter's 7 month update

I have to tell you- the last few weeks have been both long and rough! We've had so much going on. I don't know WHEN the last time my house was clean! But, times have been good- this weekend I spent a ton of time just relaxing with the family. Though there was plenty else that could have been done, I decided to (or, seth pushed me to..) relax and put the 'to-do' list off. For this, I am thankful.


Carter is now 7 months old. He's been crawling like a speed racer since 5 months, standing since not long after that- maybe at 5 1/2 months- and is now trying to stand without holding things. He's super picky and stubborn- I blame myself for that one. "Mamama" is his favorite babble (aww), he loves puppies and uses his stuffed shark as a pillow. He loves to swim, and loves his mickey mouse. Right now we are working on- feeding himself, and dunking under water. He's fascinated by water bottles- and if mom and dad are eating, just believe he's gonna eat too. His favorite food, I think, is guacamole (Or his crunchy organic cheetos and his yogurt things- cause he can grab and chew those).


As a momma, I cannot believe how fast he is growing. He shows so much personality and it feels so amazing every time he learns something new. He's such a social baby- he loves to smile and play with everyone.


In the next month I'm looking forward to- Carter's first thanksgiving (and first night away from mom and dad - since we are going Black Friday Shopping), Pictures with Santa, Family Pictures, and Carter getting to meet so many of his cousins! Also, I'd like to say I'm predicting walking by the end of the year.

But that's plenty of gushing. Here are a few pics.



Here's carter being a big boy at 7 months, and he was feeding himself some finger foods (after some baby food- hence the messy face)

This was last month at the pumpkin patch

A preview of carter in the outfit that SETH had the idea for his Santa pictures- so cute!

The great importance of being "just" a mom.

I know it is has been far too long since my last blog. Occasionally, something happens that sparks the idea for a blog, and then life simply gets in the way. However, this time, I found something that I'd really like to discuss. 

Earlier, I got into a bit of a debate about various things, including the topic of stay at home moms. This person felt that a stay at home mom who was surviving off of her husband's money was the same as a stay at home mom who collected welfare. This person also felt that stay at home moms basically sat on their behinds all day and spent their husband's money, because, staying at home- as this person put it- really isn't that difficult. This is where we disagreed, and thus, the point of the blog.

I'll start with my opinion. Being "just" a mom is the most difficult, rewarding, and important job that a woman can have. There is nothing more important than raising future generations that will later inherit the earth. Mothers are responsible for nurturing their children, for teaching them to love, for instilling morals. I don't know about you, but as a stay at home mother, I was responsible for the laundry, the cleaning, staying up at night with the baby, shopping, running errands, dr's appointments, cooking, other various appointments, etc. 

This is not to say that fathers don't play a large role in raising the children or helping out- even when I was staying at home my dear husband helped out tremendously. Additionally, this is not to say that working moms cannot raise wonderful children. I am not blind to the fact that many families need two incomes. This is why I went back to work part time. However, if a family can afford to, mother's have a divine responsibility to really take their job of motherhood seriously.

Before I go all religious on the spiritual significance of motherhood- let me just point out a couple of facts. John Carnochan, a world famous expert on violence, linked some of the issues he dealt with as a policemen to inadequate care of children under three. John Bowlby, stated that infants needed to experience a warm constant and continuous relationship with their mother in order to thrive. The attachment theory states the same thing. Child psychotherapist Robin Balbernie and David Howe stated how problems in society such as depression can also be due to poor relationship with parents as infants. The evidence is everywhere.

In my opinion, raising my child is the most important part of my life. Do I really want to trust teaching them about life to just anyone? Do I want them to learn destructive and negative behaviors without being there to intervene? Do I want them exposed to some of the evils of the world without being able to guide them appropriately? No, in short.

From a religious standpoint, motherhood plays a very large and significant role in the eternal perspective. First of all, we bring this spirit to earth in our womb, allowing he or she to have a body so that they can become Christ-like. How amazing this privilege is, and it is only the beginning! We are responsible for supporting our priesthood holders so that they may be good examples to our children. By design, we are primarily made to nurture our children. 

While all of this may just be my perspective on the matter, I think it is really something to think about. Often, mothers who choose to stay home and raise their families are frowned upon. Stay at home mothers work hard to make happy, healthy, Godly, and smart children. No lazy person would make a good stay at home mother. A job as important as building up the future generations, as being responsible for a human life, as nurturing and teaching someone the way that they should behave- should be honored. 

I don't know about you, but I take my job very seriously. While I must currently work a few hours a day to help out with my family, I spend much of the time fulfilling my DUTIES as a mother, and I enjoy every minute of this very difficult work. 

If my primary focus in life is on raising my children, being "JUST" a mother is all I want to be.

Man and Woman. Created Equal?

A friend made a post- and it got me thinking.. So, rather than argue or anything (because that is not what I'm aiming for) I figured, I'd like to put my thoughts in a blog... So here goes.

Man and Woman. Are we created equal?

In today's society it is hard to say something without offending anyone.. But I'll do my best. Currently, there is a huge feminist movement going on- that women are equal to men. Some religious groups do not believe this. They believe that women were created for the sole purpose of supporting men, and that men are - in all ways- superior. So, what is the truth?

Let's turn to doctorine.

In "The Family: A Proclamation to the World", it first covers ALL individuals. It states:


"All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose."

Later, it states:

"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners."

 So, according to this piece of doctrine, it is pretty clear that men and women are equal- that they were created for one another in order to help one another in their different responsibilities. Honestly, this entire article below I found fascinating- but this woman quoted something from "Priesthood and Church Government" by John A. Widstoe-


“Women of a congregation … may be wiser, far greater in mental powers, even greater in actual power of leadership than the men who preside over them. That signifies nothing. The Priesthood is not bestowed on the basis of mental power but is given to good men and they exercise it by right of divine gift, called upon by the leaders of the Church. Woman has her gift of equal magnitude” (Priesthood and Church Government, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1954, p. 90).

And finally, plain and simple, let's take it from the bible.. I don't think we can get more basic than Genesis, so that is where I'm going to pull from. In Genesis 1:26, it states "... and let them have dominion", in 1:28 it states the same thing. If men were meant to dominate over women- why would he have stated (more than once) this simple, yet overlooked, detail? Not to mention, let's be honest- a lot of times in the bible when it says "man" or "men" it means "the human race". That is common sense, and we should all be careful to not over think it.


Anyway, these all make an important point. Heavenly father looks upon all of us equally- that is fact. Equal does not mean the same, however. Men and women are given different responsibilities, in the mortal existence and after. Men were created to lead and provide for their families. Women, on the other hand were created to nurture and help her family. If men and women are not equal- is this to say that providing for the family is more important that nurturing them?

Personally, I think that Heavenly Father does view men and women as equals. Men and women were created to be a team- to support one another, to care for one another in every way possible, and to love one another. I don't think that being smarter or stronger has much to do with it in the eternal perspective, if you ask me.. Cause it isn't really what is important. Is it?

Frustration- and Setting the Record Straight

Alright, let's get serious for a moment. I really just feel that it is kind of necessary, being a convert of the church, to clear the air on a few things.


Yes, my relationship with my husband Seth began around the same time that I started investigating the church. Had it not been for him, I wouldn't have been questioning or taking lessons or anything.. So, this leads many to think that I am only a member of the church BECAUSE of him.. In fact, for fourth of July, we decided to visit some family. Now, my family tends to drink.. often. Some of my family decided to try and get me to take drinks. One of them even said "seth will never know, just take one drink". Obviously, I was turning this family member down.. When she told another family member that I was a member of the LDS church, this other family member looked at seth with that whole.. "what did you DO?" look. Now, though I am not mad at these family members, this simply just reminded me of the struggles I had when first converting to the church- and all the backlash I heard from other various friends and family.

First of all, let me point something out: Saying that I only converted because of Seth also says a couple things about me personally. Number 1, it says that I'll do anything to keep a guys attention. Number 2, it says that I can't think for myself. And finally, number 3, it says that I don't have the confidence to keep looking for another guy who I can truly be myself with..


Obviously, if it wasn't for Seth, I probably would have never even taken a second look at the church. However, my relationship with him and my relationship with Seth have nothing to do with one another- other than how moved I was at seeing him before and after his mission, and how much I admired how devoted he was to the church.


I am not a blind follower of faith. I did so much reading, research, reflection- you name it- outside of Seth, and I know in my heart this church is true. I know that if I had investigated the church and not become a member, Seth and I would still be married. (As he sits here telling me how he was about to ask me out before I even gave the church a thought). ALSO I want to point out that when I started investigating the church, I was dating someone else.




Look, my faith is a huge part of my marriage. However, my marriage is not the result of blind faith. I truly love and believe in this church.  Why? Because I felt it, for myself. Not because anyone led me to it.

And, whether or not people believe me when I say all of this- those of you that knew me before and after know how much this church and this faith have changed me. And, you know how much happier and fulfilled I am...


Just some food for thought.

My temple experience (Plus the whole trip!)

Well, now that I am recovering from the exhaustion of the trip, I thought I'd share a little bit with you guys.

During the trip, Seth took me to see "Wicked" the musical. Best. Show. Ever. Not only was the music absolutely fantastic, the acting was perfect. You could definitely tell that the actresses playing were having a great time on stage, and their improvisation was impeccable. I absolutely have never been to a better musical- what a great night that we had!

We also had a chance to go to Disney with the family- which was SO much fun and awesome. Need I say more?

Onto the temple-

Now, I had never been inside of a temple, so the whole experience was mind-boggling. First of all, when you look at the temple it just looks like a huge castle. If you can believe it, I will tell you that the inside is even more gorgeous!  Without going into too much detail, the entire experience was amazing. I felt like such a princess, preparing to be sealed to my husband for time and all eternity.

To be honest, before going into the temple- I was absolutely convinced that when I got in there I was just going to be overcome with emotion, and have some sort of huge spiritual revelation. However, this did not happen for me- (as it does for some). Instead, my feelings were much more subtle, and they were something that I had to realize I was having, rather than something that I was being overcome by.

I realized that as soon as I entered that temple, I had never (and I do mean never) felt so at peace. I was calm, I was comfortable, and I was so happy. My stress was lessened and it truly felt like I was in the presence of Heavenly Father. In a word, I would describe my feelings as "complete". There were times where I was simply thinking, "why don't I feel nervous?", "why am I so calm?", "why am I not freaking out right now?" And the answer for me, is, when you are truly taking the steps that you are supposed to take, Heavenly Father calms all of these emotions... at least for me.


This trip to the temple truly strengthened my testimony in a way that I never would have imagined. I am so thankful that I got the opportunity to go and be sealed to Seth (yes, I am still getting that goofy little grin at just the thought). I cannot wait to go back to the temple and experience this all over again!. After my experience in the temple, I have been given a calm, still confidence that everything is going to turn out alright.  Of course, I still stress (anyone that knows me knows that I do), but I have become less likely to be completely overcome by my daily worries. More often than my freakouts, I have that same feeling of "it'll all turn out"- which is something that is priceless!

Marriage and the Lost Generation.

So, let me share with you what happened to me this evening.

It was one of my oldest friend's 21st birthday. So, I got together with another friend that doesn't drink and we decided to make a short appearance at the get together. We get there, and we're just minding our own business, keeping to ourselves because we didn't really know many people. Well, about 10 minutes into the party, a guy yells over to us. I looked at him, and then back at my friend. He yells again, "Hey you, cute girl- come here". I look again, still unsure if he's talking to me or my friend, and back at her. Then I hear them going on about how he got rejected. He yells AGAIN. Finally, i lifted my hand and was like "Sorry, married". With the response of "That doesn't matter!"

A moment later, his friend comes over, telling me that he doesn't care that I'm married and that it's no big deal. I said that I cared that I was married. He tells me that his friend will 'treat me right'. I shook my head and told him I was happy with my marriage, and my husband. Finally, he asks to see my ring- probably because he didn't believe I was married. I showed it, and he continues to make fun of the diamond! Saying how small it was, etc. (P.S. My ring is actually pretty decent, so they were just being rude). He keeps pestering, until he finally got the point. He goes back and their whole group- for the next ten minutes is making fun of my marriage, and the fact that I'm not drinking alcohol (I had a gatorade in my hand, and my friend had a water). Needless to say, we left.


Point being, I am SO disgusted with our generation. When did this become okay? Here I am, not causing any trouble for anyone, and the feel the need to insult the most important thing to me. My husband is my number one priority. I am more than content-, blissful even, in my marriage. But for someone to so obviously disrespect my marriage, my ring, and my spouse- this is NOT okay.

Luckily, Seth was not there to witness or deal with this- since my friend and I had decided to make a girl's night out of it. I have no doubt that this person was simply just acting out because he got rejected, or whatever it was. I have definitely learned my lesson. I simply cannot be at these types of parties. They are NO longer my style. It is hard to be surrounded by so many people that do not share your values. I knew this going in, and yet I still went. Why? I was trying to be a good friend to someone I have known for so long.

Furthermore, why is marriage so frowned upon? This is because FAMILY values are no longer a priority. I'm not entirely sure when it became 'normal' to lose all of your family values. Anyone? If families were more valued, then our society would have a lot less problems.

Here I am, 10 days from going to the temple and being sealed to my spouse for all of time and eternity. There is no event on this earth that is more important to me. Why would ANYONE give that up for something meaningless, short lived, and worldly? I don't mean to hate on anyone- we all have our lifestyles. However, I was NOT criticizing anyone for their behavior tonight, I would expect to have my values respected as well.
 

It is times like these when I want to spread a rumor of a pot of gold at the bottom of a very steep cliff. However, I'm pretty sure heavenly father would rather I keep my head up, and continue on the path that I am. I do think tonight was important, though. I definitely have learned my lesson. Prior to being converted- I'd go to these types of parties all the time. I really have changed, and I have the Gospel to thank for that. I remember feeling empty before it, and it is nothing in comparison to the fulfillment and joy I feel now.

*sigh*

These really are the latter days.

Nicole's First Sacrament talk: Abiding The Lord's Territory.

So, last Sunday I gave my first talk in Sacrament meeting. Nerve-wracking. I probably would have been fine despite my quick speaking. Oh well, here goes. P.S.- this hasn't been edited with 'proper grammar' in mind. I  wrote it as a talk, not as an essay so bear with me! :) I would like to say, though, that giving this talk truly blessed me. I seriously (though I don't think anyone noticed) started to choke up while bearing my testimony afterward. I never thought that giving a talk would touch me like that, but it truly did. This talk truly helped me to strengthen my testimony and I am so thankful for it!

 Today, I was asked to give a talk on “Abiding the Lord's Territory.” So, what does this mean exactly? President Thomas S. Monson once said “May I provide a simple formula by which you can measure the choices that confront you. It's easy to remember: “You can't be right by doing wrong; you can't be wrong by doing right”. Simple enough, right? This means, that if we are following the directions that heavenly father has given us, we will know what decisions to make when life gives us forks in the road.

Heavenly father did not leave his children in the dark, he has given us all of the tools necessary to make the correct decisions in life. He has given us the Bible, the Book of Mormon, a living prophet, and as if those weren't enough- we have the Holy Ghost guiding our decisions as well.

In order to “Abide in the Lord's territory, we must use these tools to know whether or not our actions put us in the Lord's Territory, or the Enemy's territory.

Let's discuss first why it is important to make the correct decisions. Now, when I came to this question, it was a bit difficult for me. Obviously, we all want to do what is right, but do we ever stop to ask ourselves why? Or do we just do this because we know we should. Some of the answers that I came up with were these:
“We want to please heavenly father.”
“We want to make the correct decisions in order to return to heavenly father”

“Correct decisions help us to lead a happy life.”

Thomas S. Monson made it simple. He stated, “Our decisions determine our destiny.”

Making bad decisions not only has a negative impact on our destiny, but it also makes our lives more difficult. Think of it this way- when you make a wrong decision at work or in school, it often turns out that you have to put a lot more effort into fixing this mistake than it would have taken to just make the correct decision in the first place. This could mean that, for example, say you don't study for your midterm and you do awfully. Chances are, you're going to have to spend the entire rest of the semester trying to find ways to make up for that one lousy grade.

I know, personally, that bad decisions can really make an impact on your life. Let's just say that, before I was investigating the church, I made decisions that I wouldn't make now. Though many of those didn't immediately have a consequence, I still live with those decisions, and regret them any time that they cross my mind.

So, we know that making bad decisions brings negative consequences. However, what about making no decision at all?

According to Revelation 3: 15-16, “I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. So then, because thou art Luke-warm and neither cold nor hot, I will spew thee out of my mouth.”

If we are standing by and letting Righteous decisions pass us by, what does this say about our faith?

Gordon B. Hinckley said,

 “Take a stand for righteousness. It is not enough to be lukewarm and stand idly by in this world that is on a toboggan slide going down and down and down. Take a stand. Rally yourselves with others to stand up for what is right and true and moral and good, whatever it be. As I look at this congregation, there are enough people here to turn almost any cause around if we were all united in speaking with one voice in defense of that which the God of heaven has declared to be true and right.”

Now that we've discussed why we should make appropriate decisions, we should go over how to make good decisions, so that our actions can place us in the Lord's territory.

There are many ways that we can prepare, in order to be sure that when the time comes, our actions demonstrate our faith. To do this, we must first sow in the Spirit. In a talk given by Ulisses Soares Of the Seventy, “To sow in the Spirit means that all our thoughts, words and actions must elevate us to the level of divinity of our heavenly parents”

In order to help ourselves to take the correct actions in our lives, it is important for us to read our scriptures, pray, and avoid the temptations of the flesh whenever possible.

Reading scriptures is something that we should strive to do on a daily basis. In a talk, Elder D. Todd Christofferson stated “The central purpose of all scripture is to fill our souls with faith in God the Father and in His Son, Jesus Christ—faith that They exist; faith in the Father’s plan for our immortality and eternal life; faith in the Atonement and Resurrection of Jesus Christ, which animates this plan of happiness; faith to make the gospel of Jesus Christ our way of life; and faith to come to know “the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom [He has] sent”. By reading scripture,  we receive the Holy Ghost who bears witness of the truth of the Church, strengthening our faith. The stronger that our faith is, the more likely we are to stand by it when we are under pressure.

Prayer is another important way we can help ourselves to take the correct actions in our lives. We gain strength through prayer. Prayer allows us to communicate with our heavenly father, and know that our feelings are heard. President Spencer W. Kimball spoke about prayer “ After a lifetime of prayers, I know of the love and power and strength that comes from honest and heartfelt prayer. I know of the readiness of our Father to assist us in our mortal experience, to teach us, to lead us, to guide us.”

And finally, we need to avoid the things of the flesh. Because of our carnal nature, we have a tendency to be tempted by the things of the flesh. We must do our best to avoid these types of influences, behaviors and pressures. We must enhance and strengthen our spirits.

It is required that we “let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and evil speaking, be put away from [us] with all malice” Ephesians 4:31, and that we “be wise in the days of [our] probation [and] strip [ourselves] of all uncleanness” Mormon 9:28.

Heavenly father puts us through these trials for a reason. Doctorine and Covenants 29: 39 states “And it must needs be that the devil should tempt the children of men, or they could not be agents unto themselves; for if they never should have bitter, they could not know the sweet”.

Heavenly father has made promises to us that if we are obedient and live righteously, we will be blessed. We encounter a challenging world on a daily basis, and it is important that we continue to steer clear of the devil's territory. As President George Albert Smith stated, “There is a line of demarcation well defined between the Lord's territory and the devil's territory. If you will stay on the Lord's side of the line you will be under his influence and will have no desire to do wrong; but, if you cross to the devil's side of that line one inch you are in the tempter's power and if he is successful you will not be able to think or even reason properly, because you will have lost the Spirit of the Lord”

We must continually strive to abide in in the Lord's territory, and encourage others to do the same. We must model our lives after that of Jesus Christ, so that we may fulfill our sacred covenants. We must keep ourselves worthy to enter the kingdom of the Lord.

President Gordon B. Hinckley explained “Great are the promises of the Lord. The marvelous thing to me is that the Lord never asks us to do anything that He does not attach to it a blessing. It is not a sacrifice to live the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is never a sacrifice when you get back more than you give. It is an investment. And the living of the gospel of Jesus Christ becomes a greater investment than any of which I know because its dividends are eternal and everlasting.”.

Heavenly father knew when he gave us our agency that we weren't always going to be perfect. He knew that we would stumble into the devil's territory time and time again. I know, Brothers and sisters, because prior to my membership in the church, I pretty much camped out in the devil's territory. I can tell you from experience that this is not somewhere you would like to be. Before I was a member, I found myself in a constant inner battle. I was making decisions that hindered my own happiness, and caused a lot of extra struggle in my life, struggle and regret that I still live with today, long after my repentance. However now, I am thankful that Heavenly father gave me an iron rod to grab onto and that I am striving daily to continue to make appropriate decisions.

So, if we strive to keep ourselves worthy, keep ourselves righteous, keep ourselves in the Lord's territory we will be blessed. Doctrine and Covenants says that individuals should “humble themselves before God, and desire to be baptized, and come forth with broken hearts and contrite spirits that they have truly repented of all their sins, and are willing to take upon them the name of Jesus Christ, having a determination to serve him to the end”.  

So, I ask you brothers and sisters, do you abide in the Lord's territory?